Another day, Another Dollar

The office was cold even though it was in the mid 70's outside. It is always cold in this building.

My boss has called me in for a 7:00 AM meeting. Which is bullshit because I know he never arrives before 8:30 himself.

I arrive at 7:45. The coffee begins to brew.

He arrives at 8:36. Calls me into his office.

His hair is unkempt and graying. The same can be said for the homeless beard he currently wears. He holds a double sized coffee mug that says "YES, I NEED THIS MUCH COFFEE." He sits down.

"Ads..." he says, almost as if he were speaking the name of the man who killed his wife, unborn child, puppy, and best friend. "They've put up ads."

"I don't understand sir..."

"Weapon Mods son." He sips his coffee. "Those bastards have put up ads, can ya believe it?"

I could not.

"I thought old Kas had a little more integrity than that hahah." He lights a cigar. This is a 'No Smoking' building "Or at least I thought that HE thought he had more integrity than that!"

He laughs. It turns into a cough. This lasts a while. I sit quietly.

"We need to bury them..." He finally manages. "We need to bury them now. It's time. I need your best son, I need all you've got. Now you've been in my employ for what... 3 years now? All I ever see you doing is sitting on your ass, playing Legend of Zelda, and napping. Now I'm an easy man to work for, but enough is enough. I need SOMETHING from you here."

I sit quietly.

"Well haven't you got anything to say boy?!"

"Sir..." I say in the closest manner to 'respect' that I can muster. "I've tried to post several things lately... But you always fight me on them. Like that time I wanted to do the piece on political ideals and how all sides are wrong and all choices are bad... You told me it was too preachy and it might give readers the idea that we actually give a shit here..."

He rubs the stubble on his face. "This ain't Slacker Conservative boy. I refuse to involve myself in these popularity contests we call democracy. We are not a political publication. Period."

"Very well sir... Its just that it is so easy to make fun of them, and you were pushing for views... I thought you would like that idea. Moving on then... It was suggested to me recently that maybe we should do some movie reviews..."

"God dammit boy...!" he slams his hand upon the desktop, pens scatter, the giant coffee mug inches toward the edge. I say nothing. "I don't give half a shit what you think about a god damned movie. You got that? If I want to know what a film is like, I'll watch the god damned thing. I don't need some pretentious little prick telling me how much better the book was, understand?"

He takes a long draw of the cigar. I tap my fingers upon my knees.

"Okaaaaaay... Well I had a lot of good response from the 'Little Barber Shop of Horrors' post."

Coffee drink. "Don't give a damn about your neurotic childhood either kid."

"Well... I thought about posting about my dog once."

"Are you fucking kidding me with this?"

I was not. I chuckle lightly as if I had been.

"What would you like me to post sir?"

"I pay you to post boy. So post. Come up with SOMETHING. I have faith in ya. Just bury that hack Dorge Kas, and I'll give you a 10% raise, an extra week vacation, and all the god damn diet berry tea you can drink. Got it? Now get outta here. Go do something."

I'll probably be fired for making this a post. This is JL... Signing off.