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As of this writing, 27 people are dead in Connecticut. 20 elementary aged children, and 7 adults from the reports. And all day long I've been trying to reconcile with myself how such a thing comes to pass, and for what possible reason.

Unfortunately the circus will now begin.

The media frenzy of reactions, declarations, brokenhearted pleas from those who've lost people they love. For weeks now, details will trickle out about the killer... His friends and family... his situation... the hows and whys of this. And we will devour it... through the Internet, television, and radio. We will watch and listen and read day and night.

And in a month, it will be over, and forgotten. Until it happens again. And during the media frenzy for the next event, it will be mentioned again as a comparison. As in the number of victims for the next mass murder will be compared to the number of victims from this one.

Left wingers will call for more gun control. Right wingers will call for more guns. One side or the other will offer the usual "bad parenting" excuse. Someone will say that we no longer teach family values in this country, and that if the shooter just had a little more Jesus in his life, everything would have been okay. The arguments will persist. Nothing will change.

I am not a parent. A part of me thinks I'd probably be pretty good at it. Another part of me isn't so sure. But I know that if I had a child this evening I would probably be researching home schooling options. Because, sadly, this could happen anywhere to anyone. But we cant be afraid can we? Because then the murderer wins, or the terrorist wins, or Satan wins. Some evil bastard wins if you are affected by this, got it? But we are affected.

Go about your lives they say. Nothing to see here. The president says "Take meaningful action to prevent this." Exactly what meaningful action is there to take? A bunch of school children were stabbed in China a few days ago. It might be kind of tough to regulate guns, and sharp objects too. And if we take away sharp objects, well blunt objects work too.

The sad fact of the matter is that the people who decide to do these things have given up on life. And there are not always warning signs. There are not always meaningful actions to be taken against those who are simply broken inside. They aren't afraid of punishment, or negative consequences because they've already decided they are not getting out of this alive. And they are happy about that. They will inflict one final, unfathomable, unhealable wound. And then with a pull of the trigger and a flash... they go away. Scott free. Blameless. Because what can you do to the dead?

It's actions like this that make us want to believe in Hell. I wish I could believe in such a thing. I wish I could tell myself with absolute certainty that this particular killer was at this very moment having his eyeballs slowly pierced by needles while his genitals were devoured by rats. I'd like to believe he was being torn apart piece by piece, and reassembled only to be torn apart again for eternity. I want to think those kids and teachers are in a better place where life isn't so iffy and dangerous. But I don't really think any of that is happening. I think the murderer is just gone. I think the children are gone. I hope its not true. I hope that I am wrong. But for certain the only thing that remains here is the memory of what he has done. He lives on only as a monument to whatever failure created him... be it parenting, doctors, "the system"... whatever. We'll all read about it in a few days and decide who to blame. And then we'll go about our lives.

The children who survived this will be scarred for life. Perhaps some of them witnessed first hand the murders. Not an easy thing for a kindergarten student. Tough thing for Big Bird to explain. They'll bury it somehow, and hopefully go on to healthy prosperous lives. But it is always going to be there.

I don't know where I'm going with any of this. I just felt the need to spew nonsense I suppose. Basically what I'm trying to say is that there are a lot of broken, hopeless people on this planet. And no law can stop them. No mental evaluation can predict the breaking of a mind. We're all rolling the dice when we leave our homes on the chances of meeting one of these lost souls, and hopefully we manage to survive the occasion. In the meantime I hope that we can all enjoy whatever time we have left.

May the broken ones be intelligent enough to seek help, or at the very least, remove themselves from the population before any more damage is done. Thanks for reading. O.A.D.S. will resume it's regularly scheduled ramblings about silly things upon our next writing.

The Cafe

I open my eyes.

I do not know where I am. It seems to be some kind of cafe. There are customers and staff meandering about. People laughing, and conversing. The bustle of dishes colliding and servers taking orders.

Someone is calling my name.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey! Glad you could make it!"

Dorge Kas sits at a table in the corner, beside a large window. He is waving his arms and beckoning me to the table. I walk over and sit down.

"Hey, did you have any trouble finding the place?" he says.

"I'm... Where am I? How did I even get here?"

He Laughs. "Rough night pal?"

"I guess so... What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you, whats it look like? I thought we should discuss a few things. It's such a nice day out!"

It is indeed a nice day. Through the window I see a calm street with a few passing cars. The sun is shining and the warmth of it through the glass is comforting. It seems to be Spring, which is confusing for some reason.

"Lets get something to drink" He says. "Miss!"

A woman glides to the table. When she arrives I realize she looks exactly like Cate Blanchett... except that she is dressed as a waitress. She has pointy elvish ears. Dorge does not seem to notice this as he orders us two beers.

"Dorge, you know I don't drink."

"Trust me, you'll want to drink today." he says with a grin.

Cate Blanchett glides away and then returns with the drinks.

"Is there some kind of Tolkien fair in town or something? Why does she have elf ears? And why are they serving beer at this cafe?"

"What're you talking about?" He looks at me as if I have sprouted another head. "Whatever, anyway, the reason I asked you here... Was that I wanted to tell you that you were right."

"Excuse me...?"

"You were right!" He exclaims. "About so many things! For instance... Venom... He really shouldn't be ten times the size of a normal human. He should be large sure, cause he's a big guy right? But not frickin building sized you know? I don't know what I was thinking."

As his words begin to sink in... I suddenly find myself considering the beer, but push the thought aside.

"Well that's... I mean I'm glad we agree but... are you feeling alright?"

"Hah! I'm great!" he nearly yells "Never better! Hey, would you like some gum?"

He pulls a package of gum from his pocket and offers the open end to me. My 5th grade teacher walks by and waves.

"No thanks I'm fine... Was that Mrs. Dav...Wait a minute... You hate gum. You despise the very thought of it."

"Nonsense!" he yells while stuffing four sticks of gum into his mouth. "I fucking love gum... what're you crazy?"

Dorge proceeds to stand up and sing the anthem from an old gum commercial. "GIVE YOUR BREATH LONG LASTING FRESHNEEEEEEEEEEESS... WITH BIG RED!!!"

No one seems to notice his outburst. He sits down laughing maniacally. I suddenly feel very uncomfortable.

rrrriiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnggggggggggg...

"Dorge, this is a nice place and all, but I think I'm going to head out... I'm not feeling so great."

"And Watchmen!" he ignores me "I reread your "Watching the Watchmen" post the other day, and I thought what the hell, I'll give it another shot... and you know what? You were right! The movie is EXACTLY like the book! Except that the ending to the movie is SO MUCH BETTER. HOW COULD I HAVE MISSED IT!?!"

He begins to take on a crazed, semi-violent look in his eyes. I look around the room for innocent bystanders, fearing that this is one of those moments just before someone snaps.

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGG!!!!

"Did you hear that?" I say.

"You hungry?" He absently asks, apparently not hearing the weird bell sound.

"Not really." I respond

"Excellent. Miss!" He yells "We'll have two slices of pie please."

Cate Blanchett returns, this time in a long white gown. She is glowing faintly. She places upon the table two slices of some unidentifiable pie, bows, and glides away.

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGG!!!!

"God is that in my ears or what?"

"Look..." Dorge says while slicing up the pie. "You and I haven't always seen eye to eye right? So these recent revelations... they've made me think back and consider some of our other disagreements. So I thought we could look back and maybe set the record straight."

He puts down his fork and reaches into a backpack, pulling out a volume of pages that couldn't have possibly fit inside the pack. It's cover is dusty and etched with strange runes.

"This is the Tome of Disagreements. A record of all our battles. I used to keep it just so I could look back and laugh at how wrong you are. But now..."

As he places his hand upon the cover a sickly green glow begins to spread from the book.

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGG!!!!

"Perhaps we can find some common ground and..."

He stops mid sentence.

I look around the room. Suddenly the cafe is empty save for the two of us. The sounds of life have faded, and outside the window it is pitch black. Dorge's eyes have also become black. He grins at me like the devil.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" he says.

Suddenly I'm swimming in blackness. After what seems an eternity my eyes adjust, and I realize that I am in my bedroom. My phone beeps at me. I have one missed call from Dorge Kas, and a voicemail.

"Hey, it's Dorge, its aboooout 3:15 AM, and I just reread your "Watching the Watchmen" post. I just wanted to make sure you know that you're still a fool for enjoying that swill. It's sad, and I pity your offspring. Sleep tight."